1.Acres Of Limeliters
We've traveled all over this country
A pickin' and singing for gold,
In concerts, in nightclubs, on TV,
Yes we have been frequently sold
Yes we have been frequently sold
In concerts, in nightclubs, on TV,
Yes we have been frequently sold
We've never turned down a good offer,
Commercials for coffee and Coke,
We published, promoted, and hustled
Because we were afraid to be broke
Yes, we were afraid to be broke
Yes, we were afraid to be broke
We published, promoted, and hustled
Because we were afraid to be broke.
We met lots of groovy young ladies,
You might say, those were the days
But now that we're older and wiser,
We think that monogamy pays,
We think that monogamy pays,
We think that monogomy pay,
(And Glenn is sure of it!)
Now that we're older and wiser,
We think that monogamy pays,
Yes, we were as fond of each other,
As any of those who were wed
Except that when we had a quarrel,
We never could make up in bed,
No, We never could make up in bed
No, We never could make up in bed
(Never!)
No, We never could make up in bed
(Except there was that one time!)
Except that when we had a quarrel,
We never could make up in bed!
So, Alex became a producer,
(That's Right!)
And Glenn became very well known
While Lou played executive hippie
At his Morningstar groupie rest home
But now that we're all back together,
It's clear once again what we've lacked,
We're naturally drawn to each other,
A naturally unnatural act.
A naturally unnatural act,
A naturally unnatural act,
We're naturally drawn to each other,
A naturally unnatural act!
2.Whiskey In The Jar
Lyricist：Traditional
I have been a rover, I have been a bold deceiver
And now I earn my livin' with my pistol and my rapier
I don't know what I've stolen, but 'twould make a pretty penny
And now I've lost it all to my darlin' sportin' Jenny
Musha rig um du rum da
Whack fol the daddy-o
Whack fol the daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar
I robbed Colonel Farrell up on Gilgarry Mountain
I took the gold to Jenny just to help me with the countin'
But Jenny called the guards, Lord, I've never saw so many
I almost lost my freedom with my darlin' sportin' Jenny
Musha rig um du rum da
Whack fol the daddy-o
Whack fol the daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar
I'd like to find me brother, he's the one that's in the army
I don't know where he's stationed, be it Cork or in Kilarney
Together we'd go rovin' o'er the mountains of Kilkenny
I'd swear he'd treat me fairer than my darlin' sportin' Jenny
Musha rig um du rum da
Whack fol the daddy-o
Whack fol the daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar
'Twas early in the morning at the barracks of Kilarney
My brother took his leave but he didn't tell the army
Our horses, they were speedy, 'twas all over but the shoutin'
Now we make our livin' up on Gilgarry Mountain
Musha rig um du rum da
Whack fol the daddy-o
Whack fol the daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar
Musha rig um du rum da
Whack fol the daddy-o
Whack fol the daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar
3.Harry Pollitt
Introduction：This one is the story of Harry Pollitt.
Harry Pollit was at one time a very influential member of the
Communist Party in England,
until he was finally throwm out; and when they threw him out,
they wrote a song about him as if he were dead.
And it goes like this：
Harry Pollit was a work; one of Lenin's lads
He was foully murdered by those counter revolutionary cads
Counter revolutionary cads, counter revolutionary cads
He was foully murdered by those counter revolutionary cads!
Old Harry went to heaven
He reached the Gates with ease,
Said, 'May I speak with Comrade God;
I am Harry Pollitt please
I'm Harry Pollitt please, I'm Harry Pollitt please,
May I speak with Comrade God, I am Harry Pollitt please.'
'Who are you' said Saint Peter, 'Are you humble and contrite？'
'I'm a friend of Lady Astors.'
'Well, OK. that's quite alright.
OK, that's quite alright, well OK. that's alright
You're a friend of Lady Astor, well OK that's quite alright.'
They put him in the choir, but the hymns he did not like
So he organized the angels and he led them out on strike
Led them out on strike, Led them out on strike
He organized the angels and he led them out on strike!
One day when God was walking around heaven to medidate,
Who should he see but Harry chalkin' slogans on the gate？
Chalkin' slogans on the gate, slogans on the gate
Who should he see but Harry chalkin' slogans on the gate？
Well, they brought him up for trial before the Holy Ghost
For spreadin' disaffection amongst the heavenly hosts
Amongst the heavenly hosts, amongst the heavenly hosts
For spreadin' disaffection amongst the heavenly hosts
Well, the verdict it was guilty, Harry said 'Ah, well'
And he tucked his nightie 'round his knees and he drifted down
to hell
Yes, he drifted down to hell, he drifted down to hell
He tucked his nightie 'round his knees and he drifted down to
hell.
Now seven long years have passed, Harry's doing swell
He's just been made the first people's commissar for soviet
hell,
Commissar of soviet hell, commissar of soviet hell
He's just been made the first people's commissar of soviet hell!
Well the moral of this story Is easy for to tell,
If you want to be a Bolshevik,
You'll have to got to hell,
If you want to be a bolshevik, you'll have to go to hell,
Yes, you'll have to go to hell,
If you want to be a Bolshevik,
You'll have to go to hell!
4.Have Some Madeira, M'Dear
She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice
She was fair, she was sweet seventeen.
He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice
He was base, he was bad, he was mean.
He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat
To view his collection of stamps,
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat,
The wine, his cigar and the lamps：
Have some madeira, m'dear. You really have nothing to fear.
I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right,
You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night.
Have some madeira, m'dear. It's really much nicer than beer.
I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout,
And port is a wine I can well do without...
It's simply a case of chacun a son gout
Have some madeira, m'dear.
Unaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass
And the fate of the maiden who topes,
She lowered her standards by raising her glass,
Her courage, her eyes and his hopes.
She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did!
He promptly refilled it again,
And he said as he secretly carved one more notch
On the butt of his gold-headed cane：
Have some madeira, m'dear,
I've got a small cask of it here.
And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep.
Do finish it up. It will help you to sleep.
Have some madeira, m'dear.
It's really an excellent year.
Now if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say yes
The evil gin does would be hard to assess..
Besides it's inclined to affect me prowess,
Have some madeira, m'dear.
Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said
With her antepenultimate breath,
'Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red
Be prepared for a fate worse than death!'
She let go her glass with a shrill little cry,
Crash! Tinkle! it fell to the floor;
When he asked, 'What in Heaven？' She made no reply,
Up her mind, and a dash for the door.
Have some madeira, m'dear.
Rang out down the hall loud and clear
With a tremulous cry that was filled with despair,
As she fought to take breath in the cool midnight air,
Have some madeira, m'dear.
The words seemed to ring in her ear.
Until the next morning, she woke in her bed
With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head...
And a beard in her lug 'ole that tickled and said：
Have some madeira, m'dear!
5.A Hundred Men
A hundred men went off to war
... a hundred men.
Their hearts were heavy, their heads were high
As they kissed the ones they left behind.
Some were eager, some were scared,
Nobody knew, and nobody cared
When a hundred men went to war.
Then a thousand men went off to war
... a thousand men.
And a few now said that it wasn't right,
And a few said prayers in their beds at night
For the hearts so heavy, the heads so high
Who kissed the ones they loved goodbye,
For those so eager, and those so scared,
A few now knew, a few now cared,
When a Thousand men went off to war.
... Ten thousand men.
Then a million men went off to war
... a million men.
Now fear came a creepin' down many a street,
Borne on the dust of a million feet,
And many now said that it wasn't right
And many prayed in their beds at night
For the hearts so heavy, the heads so high
Who kissed the ones they loved goodbye,
For those so eager, and those so scared,
For many now knew, and many now cared,
When a million men went to war.
Then all mankind went off to war,
... Yes, all mankind.
And the people fought, and the people cried,
And the people prayed, but the people died,
And fear like a flood covered every street
And mixed with the mud of a billion feet
And all now said that it wasn't right
And prayed as one to the fiery night.
Their hearts were heavy as they watched the sky
And kissed the ones they loved goodbye
Now none were eager, but all were scared
Now they knew that they should've cared.
When a hundred men went off to war,
... a hundred men.
6.Vasectomy
Well, I went to see my Doctor,
I said, 'Doc, I can't pay my bills!
The rent's all spent,
The truck's got a dent,
And I think I'm gettin' the chills
From being forced to sleep alone,
You see this house just ain't no home,
I can't afford no kids,
My life is on the skids,
'Cause my woman says
'Leave me alone,
Unless you get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Just one little male alteration
Can keep us from another altercation!
Get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens there could be!'
Well, the next thing I know,
I'm laying on a table
With a light shinin' in my eyes!
They strapped my wrists,
They strapped my ankles,
And they double-strapped my thighs!
The nurses were a gigglin'
And I was a wigglin',
Most uncomfortably,
When the Doc walked in,
With a perverted grin,
And here's what he said to me：
'It only hurts
For a little while,
That's what they tell me,
That's what they say!'
Oooeeeiy! Ooooh! Aiiiy Oh!
Well, it's two weeks later,
And I feel a little better,
My mind is more at ease.
The rent's still spent,
The truck's got a dent,
But my woman's no longer a tease!
And even down at the office,
There is a lot more interest in me,
The girls all grin when I walk in!
And brother, they mean to please
A man with a vasectomy,
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Like a sun-kissed orange,
I've been squeezed,
'Cause its all juice and there's no seed!
Well, a vasedctomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens!
It's beginnin' to make a little sense!
Oh what a vas deferens there could...'
Here is the part that I like the most,
It takes the danger out of bein' close!
Oh what a vas deferens there could..
They snip those little suckers right in two
And clamp 'em of with super-glue!
Oh what a vas deferens there could be!
7.Vikki Dougan
REFRAIN：
Vikki turn your back on me
Come on darlin' just for me
'Cause there is something so appealin',
that your eyes are not revealin'!
Oh, Miss Dougan, you're for me!
Other girls who approach me,
Are beautiful, gorgeous and gay!
But you're so gosh darn more inviting
Going the other way!
REFRAIN
Vikki baby you move me,
In those far-out clothes!
But don't it get chilly flyin' home at night
When that cold cold tail-wind blows？
REFRAIN
Vikki baby, you rock me,
Without you I'm bereft!
I'm hynotized by those crazy eyes,
And that callipygian cleft!
REFRAIN
Vikki baby, we're older,
My get up and go is gone
But when I see you walking down the street
Them buns still turn me on!
REFRAIN
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